By Sophia Godkin PhD
Truth is relative. No one can tell you what the truth is. You have to decide for yourself what the truth is. That being said, there are universal truths that when understood, appreciated, and practiced, can transform the course of your life in amazing ways. And though you may have forgotten them, know that they’ve never ceased to be.
1. You are not the lies your mind tells you about yourself. Your mind is a beautiful thing. It helps to create the intricate, wonderful world you live in. It gives you a perspective of life that is unlike that of anyone else. The key to ensuring that this perspective is one that helps, rather than hurts, you is to first recognize that your mind thinks lots of thoughts, many of which have no factual basis. Learn to spot the liars by noticing the thoughts that don’t feel great, question their validity, and decide to transform them into thoughts that feel better. Your thoughts are everything. Choose the good ones.
2. Your past doesn’t have to become your future. We all have wounds that we’ve accumulated simply from being a human being raised by other human beings with wounds in a world with wounds. These personal wounds are messengers, waiting and wanting to be acknowledged, integrated, and healed. So allow yourself to be vulnerable, acknowledge these past hurts, see their role in shaping who you are today, and shift how you think about the events and people involved. When you heal these wounds, hurts from the past won’t have to become fears of the future that ruin your present potential for happiness.
3. You are worthy of all that you desire and you can and will reach your dreams. If you are alive, that means you are here to have and be all that you want. In fact, that is the very reason why life exists – to give us, as individual souls, an opportunity to evolve and create a physical manifestation of what our hearts desire. So if you ever catch yourself doubting your ability to have all that you want, or the Universe’s ability to provide it for you, just remember that both you (the soul) and she (the Universe) are all-knowing and all-powerful. The when, where, and how, however, are up to her – and that’s what drives your mind crazy.
4. Your life is your own. Any time a friend, parent, family member, or anyone else verbally ‘shoulds’ on you, telling you “you should make this decision” (eg “be this profession”, “marry this person”, and so on), recognize their words as an act of caring and then set them off to the side. The only thing you need to listen to is your own heart and the only thing the ‘shoulds’ floating around in your energetic field do is activate your mind and cloud your heart. Don’t try to live your life based on the wants and needs of others. Live only from the wants and needs of your heart, for it knows you best.
5. What other people think about you is none of your business. In a world of 7.4 billion people, it is unrealistic to expect that each one will like, appreciate, and accept you as you are. Why? Because each has their own likes, dislikes, wounds, and personalities, making it impossible for you to control what they think, feel, say and do about you. What you can control, however, is what you think, feel, say, and do about yourself. And when you are true to yourself and think only the best of yourself, what others think about you becomes less of a concern. You do have an intrinsic need to belong, but your belonging isn’t conditional on you saying certain things, doing certain things, and buying certain things. You already belong. You always have and always will.
6. You teach others how to treat you based on how you treat yourself. Treat yourself as the beautiful, worthy being that you are, for it will dictate how others treat you too. If you love and accept yourself, they will too. Because you will approach them with kind words and positive actions. If you respect yourself, they will too. Because you will relate to yourself and to them in a respectful manner of speech and action. If something happens that does not meet your criteria of respect, you will stand up, set boundaries, and let the other party know what is and what is not acceptable when it comes to their interactions with you. Instead of sitting back and accepting any and all kinds of rude, demeaning, disrespectful behavior, you will voice your discontent. If it continues, you will gather up your courage and trust that all is for the best and you will walk away because you know that you deserve to be surrounded by people who treat you as you deserve to be treated and as you treat yourself.
7. You can bounce back from anything. Think back on your life. See all the ups and downs it’s been filled with. Remember the lows and see the highs that followed. Now remember the very lowest low. Was not even that circumstance followed soon enough by a high? Life goes sour sometimes but you can bounce back from anything. You’ve got the strength, resilience, and determination to do so. In fact, it’s all those lows that have given you ample strength, courage, and wisdom to get right back up after you fall, to see a glimmer of good when all else looks bad, and to try again soon after it’s felt like a piece of your heart was torn out and stomped on. Remember this the next time you are in a very low low.
8. You always have options. If you feel “stuck” and you don’t like how your life is going, it’s likely because you are using the same logic to make changes in your life as the one that created the life you currently find yourself in. As our friend Albert Einstein said, “no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” So if you don’t like how your life is going, you’ve got to do something differently than you’ve done before. Oftentimes, this means changing the way you think about your life or any particular situation so that you can allow fresh insights and inspired action to emerge from that new awareness. You always have options, you just have to create space to see, hear, and feel them.
9. There are people out there who will love you just because you are you. If there is one thing that is critical to living a healthy, fulfilled life, it is the friendships, relationships, and connections you create. When our social interactions are filled with judgment, criticism, and conflict, they make for a life that is unnecessarily unpleasant, difficult, and unfulfilling. So find those people who love and appreciate you for no reason other than that you are you. Don’t settle for anything less than unconditional love. It is being around these types of people that will help you to love and accept yourself unconditionally. And when you love yourself no matter what, you’re free to shoot for the stars and reach all of your wildest dreams. After all, even if you miss or fall, the love you have for yourself stays the same.
10. You were born to be yourself. There is not one other person on this planet who thinks, looks, walks, talks, and emotes in the same way as you. You were born to be the best version of you, not a copy of anyone else. So relinquish any urge to conform. Be true to yourself, listen to your intuitive inner guidance, and know that it will not lead you astray. Embrace the good bits, the seemingly bad bits, and the strange bits of who you are. The more you can relax into being just as you are, the better life will be. Just ask ph360.me.
Integrating these 10 truths has turned my life from just fine to extraordinary and my heart from me to you. Live by these truths and you will not only experience true happiness but you will deeply know it, feel it, and be it.