Daily Living

HealthType Hot Tips: How to Love a Diplomat

Diplomats love the pleasure of easy, extended, well rounded experiences for the body & mind

Natalie Howard Natalie Howard
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Valentine’s Day may not be your thing, but if you’re in a relationship, or seeking one, you really do need to be adept at loving up your partner. You can’t just “have” a partner and expect the relationship to thrive if you don’t maintain it with well communicated love. That’s what I’m exploring in this series – HealthType specific communication and behaviour tips to help you get, and keep, the love flowing, whether you do Valentine’s Day or not.


Whether you’re wooing a new date, or treating your long term partner to some well deserved TLC, showing love in the way that they actually love to receive it is the secret. Love is an investment. There’s no point trying to use the wrong form of currency for the market and expect a great return. Invest in their currency, and you’ll get your return. You can then exchange the currency however you need, because now that’s what you’re both doing – exchanging love.


Is your special, or potential, someone a deep, discerning Diplomat?


Diplomats love to deeply experience life. They are naturally pleasure driven – not the quick hit of excitement and intensity, the deep satisfaction of pleasure. (Click here for a full article on what drives a Diplomat.) So, to really make your Diplomat feel loved, give them a well rounded, meaningful experience.


The Vision: Picture a long, slow, cruisy day. You have an easy morning, probably not much chatter or interaction per se, just time to wake up slow. Your Diplomat might like to feel like there’s nothing “hanging over” them as a pressure – like a load of washing that needs doing, or a responsibility towards anyone else. Check in and offer to do any errands, admin or housekeeping that will help them feel like they’ve all the time and space they need to be free from worry and enjoy the moment. 


Then, lead them through the experience. Have all the elements ready, but with very fluid timings wherever possible. A late light brunch, a bigger late lunch, an indulgent experience for the evening.


Hampers are wonderful because they say abundance. Diplomats love the sensations of food. It doesn’t need to be junk either – healthy foods offer a richness and depth that will actually satisfy a Diplomat body far more than simple sugar and salt. Think grazing. Well herbed and spiced roasted vegetables, fresh crudités to dip in pestos and purees, salads tossed with exotic greens, zesty citrus dressings, crunchy seeds, sprouts and beans, slivers of high quality meats, sprinkles of fruits and berries to bring that delectable sweetness, and maybe that divine finisher of rich, dark chocolate.


Even more important than the food, is the experience of it. A gorgeous outdoor setting – a park, a river, a beach. Blankets, cushions and low chairs to comfortably lounge on. Real cutlery and tasteful plateware. Play some easy background music. Have everything organised to free them up from their usual role which is to be the one orchestrating experiences for others. But also take any and all of their feedback and suggestions for adjustments, no matter how much prep you’ve done. Your Diplomat needs to feel very comfortable in their space.


Then, let them be. Sit back, relax, and enjoy that easy, long moment that can stretch into hours. Maybe you’ve got more plans, but they don’t matter if you don’t get to them. Diplomats can struggle with the sense of never getting through as much as they want, never having all the time and space they really want to do and experiencing everything thoroughly. A gift to them is to release their mind and body from any sense of this. Let that long lunch go all afternoon if they want. It doesn’t actually matter if dinner doesn’t happen, because a Diplomat body will still be enjoying the lunch. As long as they are feeling unhurried, and deeply connected with you, all of the “what” you’re doing doesn’t really matter. It’s all about the chill.

How you finish really matters for Diplomats. Allow plenty of time for the “wind down.” A long walk in nature, an indulgent experience like a performance or a wander through a museum. Feed the Diplomat mind as well as their body by combining movement with mental stimulation. It’s really never about getting from A to B, even if you just need to get to the car. Really, slow right down. You can even make that stroll back to the car an intimate moment of presence and connection. If you need to say goodbye, allow plenty of time before parting ways.


That’s what’s so beautiful about Diplomats. They love to take things easy. They love to receive attention, as everyone does, but if they get a sense that you’re flat out “making everything work,” they can tell it’s not easy for you. So then they don’t feel easy. They are so other-oriented that they relax when you do. So, if it means “doing” or “putting on” less – go with that. That will work.

The whole experience could take place at home and in a stroll around the neighbourhood if that’s how it has to be. What matters is exploring – being – together.

And Diplomats, if you’d love to receive this experience, gift it to yourself. You do deserve it, and you are worth it. And, you actually have the exact genius that makes creating this kind of experience effortlessly easy for you – you know how to plan and prep, how to manage details, and then you know how to go with the flow. So, you are your own perfect person. Embody that, and then witness the people that gravitate towards your easy, grounded yet flowing vibe.

Feel the love of Valentine’s Day, every day. 

Want to go deeper on the HealthType specific ways we love and relate? Sign up for Relationships360.

Click here to work 1:1 with Nat, personalised communication, behaviour & relationship specialist.


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