Connector

The Best Thing I Ever Discovered About My Child – Parenting360 at Play

What knowing my child brought me: understanding, empowerment, connection, love.

Natalie Howard Natalie Howard
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I wrote this piece a while back, when I found out my son’s Health Type profile as part of the Parenting360 course. It shows the truth of what the knowledge from the course brings – understanding, acceptance, empowerment, connection, and love.

I have found out the most powerful thing I can know about my child as a parent. I am relieved from worries I had about him. I am inspired with ideas for how to help him flourish even more. I am filled with love.

I have found out my child’s Health Type profile, which comes as part of the Parenting360 course.

My little boy is a Connector, with a strong Guardian element. (Nobody is just “one” Health Type, nor is there only one “version,” or expression, of a Health Type…we are all unique 😉 )

Since finding out my son is a Connector, I love him even more. I didn’t think I could love him any more than I did, but I do.

It’s not because he’s a Connector (although Connectors and Guardians do embody and draw out love sooo much.) I love him more because I know him more. Like the flood of love when I first saw him – I loved every detail about him. And I have loved discovering more details about him every day, with every growth and milestone that reveals more of who he is.

That’s what made this discovery so powerful and so wonderful. I understood so much about him, immediately. I was able to put together and make clear sense of what he was expressing through his behaviours, moods and preferences, and what his body was expressing also. I have the advantage of being an experienced personalised health coach, so I could apply the information readily – but the course is presented with such clarity that any parent, no matter their background knowledge or experience, can gain immediate, practical and life changing insights into their children.

It can be difficult to understand what our children are trying to say to us – what they are really expressing beneath the surface of the behaviours. Knowing their personal profile and how to personalise your parenting to them makes sense of so much of what your children are expressing through their minds, bodies and emotions.

Even more than connecting the dots about him, it connected me back to the love I have for him. My sweet Connector helped me reconnect with my heart. Because that is the gift of Connectors. Connection. They want more than anything for everyone to be connected. To bring everyone together.

Even at such a young age this is exactly what my boy does. He will gather up everyone, take their hands, call the pets to join us too, and sit us all together to play or eat together. He won’t eat until everyone else is eating too. He will first offer his food to others, the animals, his toys, the spider on the wall, the statue out in the garden, before eating himself. Before he could even crawl he would direct someone carrying him so he could pick flowers and bring them inside to me. He would cuddle photos of relatives. By the time he was crawling he was going around fetching dirty washing and taking it to the laundry. Now as a toddler he takes whole loads to the machine, and then puts everyone’s things away in their drawers. I could gush forever about his adorable ways, but you get the picture. He just loves connecting, giving and being a part of everything.

I know, you could say, but all children are cute, they all do cute things, you’re just seeing it that way. But that is precisely the key. I can see what he is doing. This is what I focus on in my coaching – perspective shifts. Seeing what’s underneath, with a personalised lens. Because what’s underneath the same behaviour for two people will be unique to them.

The way we see our children is the way they turn out. If we see them resisting eating their food as being “naughty” and “difficult;” wanting to share their food with spiders and statues as “silly and messy;” ripping photos out of albums as “destructive;” running off with an item of clothing as “annoying;” insisting that they be carried exactly where they want as “demanding” or “clingy” – then we will not get to see what they are really doing. All of these perspectives see them as “misbehaving” or being “difficult” – which means we do not see what they are trying to express to us. We will not see who they really are. If we stop children expressing themselves because we think they’re doing something “wrong” or that doesn’t make sense to us, they won’t find themselves. And neither will we.

I am so glad I know my son even more now. I can see what he is trying to express. I know what I can do to help him express this even more. It’s epigenetics at play- the opportunities & conditions to express our optimal genetic expression is what makes us happy and healthy.

So for my Connector / Guardian: Play. Sunshine. Love. Connection. Make everything fun. Active, expressive attention. Praise him for his immense contributions and love in caring for others, and actively make sure he is given many opportunities to do this – no matter how messy, peculiar or time consuming those efforts are. I am so much more confident in my parenting choices as I know what to do to best support his development – without guessing. 

All it has taken have been the slightest adjustments, and the most enormous realisation, and he has blossomed. I am not kidding, he has grown into himself. Quite literally, he bulked out in the space of a week after I found out his profile, in a way he never ever had before. (I made some easy adjustments to his food to better align with a Connector profile too.) He absolutely looks like a Connector now. When before I wasn’t quite sure of his Health Type, I was still trying to “figure him out,” now I know who I’m seeing.

He delights in life even more because he knows he is seen. And I absolutely delight in seeing him. Which delights him more again. And so he radiates love & light, my little sunshine.

Click here to sign up for the Parenting360 course. You can start the Online Self-Paced course today, or choose from an available Virtual Facilitated Course.

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