Activators and Connectors – you run in the present. Just do it. Let’s go. What are we waiting for.

If you skimmed through my overview article about time – you’re awesome! If not, no worries, here’s the deal:

Everyone’s body exists in the present, always. Feelings, emotions, reactions – that’s all coming through our body. The body ‘thinks’ in the now. It feels.

A lot of our cues to our body come from our mind – what thoughts are going through our minds. How we perceive a situation leads to how we feel about it. 

Our body also gets lots of cues from what’s going on outside – which you react to really fast – something starts falling, you catch it without needing to think. Someone is emotional – you feel it before anyone needs to even say it.

You are in a super unique position where your bodies ‘think for themselves’ – you feel and react  really naturally, really fast. 

This is your Genius:  you are so fast, agile, athletic, adaptable, expressive, tuned in with your bodies  (basically, all round awesome). 

This comes from the hormones that you are super receptive to: 

Activators: Adrenaline = Go now. Go everywhere.

Connectors: Oxytocin = Bond now. Bond with everything.

You’re awesome. This is how you roll.

What you can be told is “wrong” about you…(by others, or from yourself)

“You act /speak without thinking.”

It can seem like your mind often ‘thinks’ after your body does. You react so fast, confidently & surely – you don’t even need to look at where you put your feet, you’re just going. You do what you need to do. You say what you need to say. You express what you feel. Done.

It doesn’t always go down well. Your reaction / expression can be met with criticism. Rebuke. Conditions. Things not going the way you wanted. Hitting roadblocks because you didn’t know it would turn out like that.

I know what gets said to Activator and Connector kids. “Sit still! Stop talking! Listen to me! Stop doing that! Why did you do that? Why didn’t you think first? That’s it, time out!” 

It’s pretty similar for adults. The message you get – just stop already.

“Just stop” is NOT the solution – no matter how young or old an Activator or Connector is. You do not feel good when you feel trapped. 

So I’m not going to tell you “stop.” 

I am going to suggest just two things:

When it’s ideal – move & express (your body, thoughts, feelings, place, activity, interactions)

When it’s not ideal – pause, then move and express

Hacks to make things ideal for you: 

Your awesome ideas come through movement & expression, not sitting down trying to force a plan to come together with endless reflections or predictions. You think best when you do.

1. Move & express first thing in the morning. 

Connectors: start talking & connecting with people and moving your body. 

Activators: it’s more about exercising – and if you’ve got stuff to vent it’s great to let it out while you do this (even verbally).

1. Movement breaks throughout the day. You take the action to make sure you get plenty of regular and dynamic opportunities to move your body, and move your feelings up and out.
2. Get set. If you know something that always builds tension for you is coming up – a certain meeting or responsibility – rather than dreading or avoiding it – just go get ready for it by releasing the extra energy before the situation. Not by rehearsing the event, pouring over notes, or recalling how it went last time. That’s past & future stuff. Stay now.
3. Include breaks to turn off in the day, in your own space. Even just lying down listening to some chill tunes for 5-10mins. 
4. Keep staying in the now – and keep moving with it. Change activities, change places. Don’t make yourself ‘stop’ and stay trapped. 

What about when it’s not ideal? 

When you feel trapped by circumstances, e.g. you have to be:

• somewhere you don’t like,
• in a conversation that is challenging
• still / focused for a period of time…

Pause. Breathe. Then move & express. 

Ideas for what to say / do to create the pause to respond:

• “I don’t have a response for you yet. I need to go think about it.” (Even if you *do* have a thing or two you’d *like* to say to them…that’s a reaction, not a response. And if you still want to say that after you’ve taken a break and let some of that energy out, then maybe that is what needs to be said, but as a considered response.)
• “I need to go take a break now. Can I come back later?”
• “I really need to say something right now to get this out. Can you pause for a minute to let me say it?”
• “Sorry, I didn’t realise you’d think / feel that. Can I try again?”

Phrase things however feels right for you. The point is just to express in a clear and balanced way that you need a pause – the pause lets you respond, and lets everything happening settle. 

No pause means you are trapped in just having to react, which often increases tension.

Yes, everyone else is responsible for how they react and respond to you – and everyone does need to learn to embrace the fact that your swiftness and dynamism is your genius – you also can empower yourself by being true to living with awareness in the moment. 

Set yourself up in each moment to be primed and ready to express yourself in your most awesome way. The way that people really love about you – funny, charming, playful, authentic, magnetic, inspiring.

To work 1:1 with Nat, Personalised Communication, Behaviour & Relationships coach, click here.

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