The Sparkle of Oxytocin – The Connector Health Type Hormone

Understanding the thoughts, feelings & behaviours a person expresses, based on the dominant hormone of their Health Type.

Natalie Howard Natalie Howard
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I’ve been meaning to write an article for each of the Health Types exploring the dominant hormone of each, and the ways they express through our psychology & behaviours (Personalised Communication, Behaviour & Learning is my coaching speciality.) Understanding the drive of the hormone is a key clue for understanding the drives of the person – right down to how they feel their “reason for being.”

Firstly, it is important to note that we all have all the hormones that will be discussed (and many others). Their levels are unique to us and our particular context (our epigenetic expression.) The trend of each Health Type is to be the most receptive to particular hormones, meaning the person requires a higher baseline and consistent turnover of that hormone in order to be in their healthiest state. This is why what is “normal” or “natural” is so different for each of us – we each require a unique balance. Understanding why this is the case from a hormonal level, helps us to understand why our behaviours, thoughts, feelings and needs express the way they do.

Today I received the inspiring spark I needed to get on with getting this done. The spark that said yes, this feels good, yes, go, yes, this will be well received, yes, this is needed.

That spark came through a connection with a Connector. Of course. Because this is what they bring to us.

I’ve written a lot about the immense gifts of the Connector since having a Connector for a son. The enormous heart opening that I had when I first found out his Health Type. The immense peace and empowerment I had as a parent through completing the Parenting360 course. The connections I have made about the incredibly powerful complimentary of the Sensor & Connector relationship.

So, of course, I can’t not begin this series with our shining stars, the Connectors.

Biologically, this is a fitting place to start. Life begins through connection. Life begins through the drive of oxytocin.

Oxytocin is the dominant hormone of the Connector. This means, in general terms, that Connectors have more elevated levels of oxytocin and a a higher receptivity to it compared to other types. (Remember though that everyone is unique, and we all shift in response to our internal and external environments. This is epigenetics.) Connectors therefore need more elevated levels of oxytocin to be optimally healthy – physically, mentally and emotionally. It is what is natural, “normal,” and necessary for them to thrive.

What does oxytocin do?
Many things. It is a highly versatile and powerful hormone. It is a bonding and a growth hormone.

Notable functions include:
– Visual receptivity & acuity
– Attraction – that “buzz” of a romantic or
– Pleasure & bonding through physical intimacy
– Growth of an embryo in the womb (I wrote about how this shifted me from Sensor to ‘Connector’ mode while pregnant)
– Uterine contractions in labour (I also wrote about this one when I was pregnant)
– Breastmilk ‘let down’- releasing the milk in response to the suckling of the baby at the breast

How is it released?
It functions on a positive feedback loop. That is, it is released in response to a stimulus (trigger) and keeps being produced as long as that stimulus is there. The major trigger is physical touch. Sensory information that emulates feelings of touch or closeness do this too – warmth, sunlight, beautiful sights & sounds, and feelings of love & connection.

What do Connectors do?
Re-read the above. Really.

Connectors are the human embodiment of the hormone oxytocin. Even in the expression of the Connector body, we see the symbol of love. Heart shaped faces, and even a “heart shaped” body – big open chests with strong open arms, and shorter but solid legs. So really, we can take the principles of the hormone and apply it to the person.

Connectors do many things. They are naturally highly dynamic and can have a very wide range of talents. They can perform in a whole range of fields and learn a wide variety of things, because every new skill, experience, opportunity is a new connection. Which strengthens their highly receptive feedback loop to oxytocin.

Connectors are highly visually attentive and stimulated. They notice and recall so many details, and will share this through storytelling (connection) with others. They are exceptionally creative in visual pursuits – everything from making the most stunning meals, artworks, home design, event planning, graphics. I know exceptional mathematics teacher colleagues who are Connectors – their ability to visualise the abstract form of number into geometric patterns is incredible.

Connectors bring the energy that brings us together. They are the ones who irresistibly can get anyone chatting, moving, laughing. This is worth more than we can sometimes acknowledge, especially in a society that can be highly goal and outcome focused. If we didn’t have people bonding us together, igniting sparks for newness, we would become so rote, repetitive and eventually stuck that we would become “unstuck” – disconnected – from ourselves and each other.

Connectors keep us together. They keep working, keep adapting, keep shifting in a continual effort to keep the bond alive. This is why a Connector is naturally so gifted at adapting, trying new things, starting projects, brainstorming incredible left-field ideas.

They feel into how people are responding and naturally shift to meet them, to lift them, to connect. They feel when someone is drifting and they naturally and quickly come up with a way to bring them back. This isn’t a thought out strategic move, as would be the case for someone like a Sensor or Crusader, it’s just an intrinsic response. Where a Crusader or a Sensor may rationalise that someone or something drifting isn’t a priority and they can “let that go,” the Connector sees everyone as a priority. It matters that everyone is included. Nothing and nobody should be left behind.

It’s like the young child who wants to bring every one of their stuffed toys on a car trip. None is more important. They all matter. They all deserve to come along.

When seen from a place of logic or rules, some of these drives can be frustrating, confusing, or even judged as “immature” or “superficial.” Like “being a child” with all their toys. “Hurry up and make a decision already, it doesn’t actually matter.” But it does. It really does. The oxytocin comes through connections – so of course they need to be plentiful, frequent and ongoing.

We each place meaning on experiences, actions & attitudes based on our own internal drivers. If something is meaningful to us, then it makes sense that it “matters.” Ultimately, if something exists, it matters. It is meant to exist. So something is only “superficial” or “meaningless” from the perspective that it doesn’t matter, or isn’t comparable to something that is perceived to “matter more.”

Connection matters. Inclusion matters. Carrying everyone along matters. Laughter, joy, frivolity – it all matters. It’s the drive responsible for the continuation of our species. It’s the power that births a child. It’s the response that allows the milk to flow to nurture that child. It’s what keeps us alive.

Connection. It’s why we’re alive. And how we’re alive.

Connectors express that, in every cell of their oxytocin charged bodies. Be alive. Be together. Be love.

To every Connector out there. Thank you.

Share this with the Connectors in your life. To tell them how much they matter.

Click here to work 1:1 with Nat, Personalised Communication, Behaviour & Learning Specialist Coach.

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